Big Razor

From the Daytripper Department of Over Thinking

I'm a blade man and have been since I started shaving. No electric razor has ever satisfied me and neither has the thinness or multicolored nature of my beard. So when a package arrived in the mail about two weeks ago my first thought was: Cool.

The good folks at Costco had sent me a fancy new razor to try out, The Gillette Fusion. The coolness of the situation arose from the fact that it was a) free stuff and b) I've been planning to ditch my old razor, the Gillette Mach3.

I took up the Mach3 about five years ago (and having typed out the name twice now, I can't believe I've been shaving with such a piece-of-crap marketing cliche all this time), because it had become hard to find cartridge refills for my Gillette Atra, which is a perfectly serviceable razor despite its quaint two-blade system.

I've never been satisfied with the Mach3's lack of precision. Adding more blades to the cartridge makes it seem like you're shaving with a tennis racket: All well and good on the smooth places, but no control around the edges. The Fusion seemed to have solved this problem. Yes it had a whopping five blades on one side, but on the other was a single blade for trimming sideburns and shaving under the nose.


(The press around the Fusion's release was another inhibiting factor. It was as though Jesus returned in razor form. Seriously, does Gillette own MSNBC? How else to explain this infomercial. The Fusion also inspired what is in my memory the Lamest. Morning Edition segment. Ever.)

The problem with switching razors is that you're really just buying the handle and committing yourself to purchase cartridges on a regular basis so you can go on shaving. It's your basic pusher strategy: Like Big Oil with its siren songs of heat and mobility and plastic bags, or Big Pharma with the enticements of sustained allergy relief, magically lower cholesterol, anticoagulation and such. That's how Big Razor gets you.

The Mach3 cartridges cost more than the Atra cartridges. Not a whole lot more, but since I also had to pop for a new handle it added up. I know, I know: mama needs ROI. But that price hike was the thing holding me back from switching to the Fusion. Hence my delight when the free fusion handle arrived unbidden.

After several attempted shaves, I can tell you this: The Fusion is a lousy razor. Neither the five-blade set nor the single blade trimmer worked as well as the Mach3. Then I finally checked out the cost of the replacement cartridges and almost spit. Instead of being just a bit more than the Mach3 blades, they are almost twice as much. On average, they're around $2.50 a piece and that's at the reduced Costco price. So no thanks, Gillette. For $5 I bought a package of two-blade disposables for the trimwork. They'll last a long time.

Someday, of course, Gillette will stop making the Mach3 cartridges, and the time will finally come to buy a straight razor and start practicing on kiwi (you can get those pretty cheap at Costco and you can eat them).