Hog Wild

OINK! OINK!
Originally uploaded by LeoL30.


Hapless criminals. The news is full of them. And most of the time the headline tells you everything you need to know. For example:

Man Calls 9-1-1 to Report Stolen Drugs

Last week, however, the Associated Press gave us a "strange news" story worthy of the adjective:

Man Fined for Tossing Pig at Hotel

That poorly chosen preposition could give you the mental image of a pig bouncing off a brick wall, but it turns out the porcine specimen in question, a 60 pounder no less, was tossed over a counter inside the hotel.

Snarky grammar lesson aside, let me just say this: I love this story.

Why? Because it really happened, for one thing.

For another, it defies a quick assertion of causality. Which is to say, even after you've read the details, it still makes no sense whatsoever. It seems that Kevin Pugh, the hero of our tale, didn't know the hotel worker and that apparently alcohol was not involved. Either of those would have explained, if not everything, then an awful lot.

- You know what, that Eldon down at the hotel is a asshole.
- Yep.
- You got a pig I can throw at him?
- You gonna bring this one back?

This is apparently the fourth such pig tossing in recent weeks, which makes you wonder if some Fraternal Order of Pig Tossers has formed in Mississippi. Thankfully the pig is reported to have made it through the incident unharmed (although probably more than a little freaked).

Mostly I love this story because it renews my faith in the insoluble mystery of people. And working every day in news, with its never-ending parade of death and mendacity, that faith takes quite a beating.

So here's to you, Kevin Pugh, you crazy SOB.