Big Razor

From the Daytripper Department of Over Thinking

I'm a blade man and have been since I started shaving. No electric razor has ever satisfied me and neither has the thinness or multicolored nature of my beard. So when a package arrived in the mail about two weeks ago my first thought was: Cool.

The good folks at Costco had sent me a fancy new razor to try out, The Gillette Fusion. The coolness of the situation arose from the fact that it was a) free stuff and b) I've been planning to ditch my old razor, the Gillette Mach3.

I took up the Mach3 about five years ago (and having typed out the name twice now, I can't believe I've been shaving with such a piece-of-crap marketing cliche all this time), because it had become hard to find cartridge refills for my Gillette Atra, which is a perfectly serviceable razor despite its quaint two-blade system.

I've never been satisfied with the Mach3's lack of precision. Adding more blades to the cartridge makes it seem like you're shaving with a tennis racket: All well and good on the smooth places, but no control around the edges. The Fusion seemed to have solved this problem. Yes it had a whopping five blades on one side, but on the other was a single blade for trimming sideburns and shaving under the nose.


(The press around the Fusion's release was another inhibiting factor. It was as though Jesus returned in razor form. Seriously, does Gillette own MSNBC? How else to explain this infomercial. The Fusion also inspired what is in my memory the Lamest. Morning Edition segment. Ever.)

The problem with switching razors is that you're really just buying the handle and committing yourself to purchase cartridges on a regular basis so you can go on shaving. It's your basic pusher strategy: Like Big Oil with its siren songs of heat and mobility and plastic bags, or Big Pharma with the enticements of sustained allergy relief, magically lower cholesterol, anticoagulation and such. That's how Big Razor gets you.

The Mach3 cartridges cost more than the Atra cartridges. Not a whole lot more, but since I also had to pop for a new handle it added up. I know, I know: mama needs ROI. But that price hike was the thing holding me back from switching to the Fusion. Hence my delight when the free fusion handle arrived unbidden.

After several attempted shaves, I can tell you this: The Fusion is a lousy razor. Neither the five-blade set nor the single blade trimmer worked as well as the Mach3. Then I finally checked out the cost of the replacement cartridges and almost spit. Instead of being just a bit more than the Mach3 blades, they are almost twice as much. On average, they're around $2.50 a piece and that's at the reduced Costco price. So no thanks, Gillette. For $5 I bought a package of two-blade disposables for the trimwork. They'll last a long time.

Someday, of course, Gillette will stop making the Mach3 cartridges, and the time will finally come to buy a straight razor and start practicing on kiwi (you can get those pretty cheap at Costco and you can eat them).

Belated IrishFest recap

Before the month gets away, a recap of my visit to the Irish Festival.

I'm not Irish. My paternal grandmother was a full Scot (and by most accounts a mean old gal) and she died 15 years before I was born. As far as I can tell she never spurred my dad to embrace his Gaelic roots (her parents name turned up on a Cherokee census, so it's hard to know what was actually going on).

I am, however, enough of a ham that when the KC Irish Festival came calling for emcees last year I jumped at the chance. The deal was simple: introduce a couple of bands in return for free admission and two complimentary beer coupons. Free beer for talking, that's my kind of deal.

Last year I introduced two guys from Omaha (one was originally from Dublin and ran some kind of martial arts dojo so, again, it's hard to know what was actually going on). As people tend to say in Kansas City, "They were all right." Which means that C and I wandered off in the middle of their set, got another beer and eventually ate some Italian food.

(Quick cultural footnote: I love how at almost any ethnic festival in Kansas City you find the folks from Scimeca Italian sausage set up and grilling, with people of all nations lining up for the pork.)

This year, I had the pleasure of introducing Millish, five guys from Michigan who tore up the Boulevard Pub stage on Sunday afternoon (for clips, bios and even a couple of movies follow the link). While they have a uileann pipes and fiddle player, their approach is more jazz oriented than anything you're likely to hear at an Irish festival while still remaining recognizably Celtic.

Their set included a version of Dave Brubeck's Blue Rondo that took several meaningful detours into Grand Funk Railroad, the BeeGees and even "Eye of the Tiger" (yes, the theme from Rocky III. Michael Byars introduced them on Saturday and said that the Brubeck number spawned a host of Michael Jackson references.) All of which may sound hokey, but it was held together, as all art has to be, by the skill and commitment of the artists participating.

Kansas City may be the easiest standing ovation in the nation, but this is one band that deserved theirs.

Jesse Lee Mason, the guitarist for Millish, told me that after a summer playing the festivals circuit they were all headed back to Michigan where they're all studying jazz in one way or another a number of colleges in the Wolverine State.

I hung around for the end of Millish's set and even took the stage to do the obligatory "Give it up for..." In a spasm of zest, I even called them "the future of acoustic music." I would love for this to be true. Acoustic music could do a hell of a lot worse. But the future is the future's business and it's pretty much impossible to tell what's going to be go on.

The oldest member of Millish is 24 and a lot can happen in the life of a young man close to the end of or just out of college. I'm content with knowing that these talented young men put on a hell of show and even if they don't end up being THE future of acoustic, they'll be a part of making whatever happens happen.

Election season (again)

Just in time for the midterm election foofaraw, The Hypothetical Seven has put their campaign ad spoof on YouTube. It was shot back in 2004, but political advertising hasn't changed much in the meantime.

It's funny stuff (and not just because I'm in it).



The Hype 7 kids will be building scene to suit your suggestions as part of the Kansas City Improv Showcase at Union Station on September 29.

Go ahead, suggest "proctologist" if you must.

Of ground meat and grammar

Overheard at KC Irishfest:

"I thought bangers was like a sausage."

Cruisin' the Mall

Two local bloggers -- Happy in Bag and Three O'Clock in the Morning -- have had so much fun recently with the demolition of the Mission Center shopping center that they inspired me to make a little film about the place.